I wish I’m 19 again.

He told me we need closure. That we have to see each other before I get married. Last night, I’ve been rehearsing what I will tell him. I guess I’ll write a letter to him instead.

Did I hurt him? I think so. I just want to know how badly. It hurts me too. But I think we both know it will end this way. We couldn’t be in that kind of a relationship. We have something deeper. It’s friendship. I admit sometimes it made me think otherwise. Do I make any sense? I just hope he finally meet the girl for him.

I’m wondering what could have been. Just wondering. Not really wishing it happens the other way. Though it hurts me.